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Learn How To Save
Your Marriage
Relationship
Rescue Beware Of Premature Reconciliation
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How To Save A Marriage Even If Are The Only
One Trying!
Saving
a marriage is similar to sailing during a storm - if you are the
'dumpee', there's no way you can get the storm to follow your way. No
matter what you say or do to stop it, the storm must take place.
However, that is not to say that you can't wait until the storm die
down before you continue your journey. In fact, it is up to your
planned action that you can safely sail to your destination.
Accept That
Their Minds Are Set...For Now
The number one reason why you cannot change your partner's mind about a
marriage separation is because he or she already has a plan to leave
you, and they are planning to stick to it.Just like a storm that is
brewing, your soon-to-be-ex-spouse have already been planning to end
the marriage months in advance. Now that the bomb is dropped, his or
her plan is complete....only if they hang on firmly to their decision.
In other words, all that you say and do will be futile, as your spouse
are hardwired to object whatever it is you stand for. The moment your
spouse ask for a divorce or break up, you will be standing at the other
side of the fence in his or her eyes. When you tell her "I really can't
live without you", she automatically thinks "You're only saying that
because I'm leaving for good. Well, I don't really care cos all I want
now is to get OUT." Telling your husband "But we were perfect together"
only translate to "You just can't see the problem - and that's
the problem."
Think about it, no matter how good your heart-pouring your begging
sounds, your spouse will think "Don't give in now. You are this close
to being free again" and shut down whatever feelings they have for you.
The resistance is simply too strong. Their agony of breaking up is
probably less of what you are going through because they have
emotionally broke up with you way earlier. So don't fight the storm -
let it work its wrath and do its damage.
Plant The Seeds
Of Doubts
Right now, you only need to dig deep enough to inject doubt into your
spouse's mind. In order to neutralize the other party's resistance, you
must give up trying to mould and change them to your liking. Stop
taking charge - that is to stop disagreeing with your spouse, stop the
blaming, the critism and the bickering. Agree with them. Acknowledge
that they have a point, and admit that you could be wrong. Them them
they are right.
Your passiveness will have an instant effect on your spouse on two
level : the other party will be less defensive since there are nothing
to defend against anymore, and his or her view on you changed from
negative one to a positive one. This can only mean that your words will
come through more easily now than ever and real communication can take
place. Reflect at your good times together and thank your spouse
for the sweet memory together - but do not imply that you want to get
back together. It is essential to remind them that your marriage is
something precious that unfortunately, has to come to an end.
If previously, visiting the lawyer's office or shopping for a new place
get your spouse one step closer to freedom, it's now creating new doubt
in them, as can no longer affirm that is what they want anymore. "Could
talking to the custody lawyer an irreversible mistake? Is moving out
the best solution? Is there a better way?" Such are the thoughts that
may be running throughtheir heads. Now your spouse is finally open to
reconcillation and you are getting closer to save your marriage.
Maintain
Pleasant Contact
During this time, you can keep things short and sweet between the two
of you. A phone call to let them know the kids enjoy the movie very
much and a birthday card on his or her birthday isenough to remind them
of then happier side of your relationship together. The message you are
sending here is the life that they could have choose, but not exactly
an invitation to get back together, and this is only going to make it
all the more valuable in the eyes of your spouse.
And in case you are thinking "just how long do I have to go on
pretending and being passive?", the answer is you don't have to at all.
Just think back the time when the two started dating. Back then, you do
not have problems tolerating each other. What have changed since then?
Take this opportunity to work out this area together with your spouse
since now you are both open tomending your ways and commited to make
the marriage work. This is another
chapter altogether in learning how to save a marriage and preventing
marriage separation. Read the entire guide now by clicking
here. Subscribe to our free guide
for more winning ex back
tips.
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